What I Didn’t Know About Having Sex by Tori

30 08 2016

What I didn't know about having sex

I want to make him happy. 

I enjoy it too.

I love him.

I’m just having fun.

My friends will think I’m weird if I stop.

I have said each of these and more. For years, I believed that the only thing I could offer a guy was my body. That somehow I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough or fun enough for him to love me for me. Maybe I didn’t know how to have a normal conversation with men? I laid awake in bed and felt it down in my core: a deep longing in my heart. The voice of my heart was screaming to be held. I’ve been held before, quite often actually, for many years, but never in the way that I’d truly desired.

Night after night in a dazed state of drunken confusion, I’d laid in bed with a man whom I knew I didn’t like, let alone love, wondering the next morning how I got there or what I even did. Or maybe I did remember. That was worse. It was never right; the casual nature of it all, how common it was to share that intimate moment with a stranger. It was never right. There was always something that didn’t feel okay. How did I get to this point? The girl at 13 who started to be physical with her boyfriends was now tossing herself at a different guy each weekend. For what? I was having fun right?

I could have never guessed years later I would be seething in pain from the loss that accompanied giving away a part of my heart each time I succumbed to having sex. Each time I allowed him to come over past 10pm even though I knew where it would lead. And I know that many women continue to do it, with someone who isn’t their husband, and I get it. I really do. I get the need to be cherished, desired, held and mostly, to be loved. To hear someone tell you the things your heart longs for. Yet, it was not until 3 years after I stopped having sex that I realized the way my heart really felt; bruised, crushed & angry. Really angry.

Angry with men and I had no idea why. No one told me that sleeping with that guy from the bar would leave me feeling more empty than I thought possible. No one told me that it would make me feel more unworthy and more alone. No one told me that with each one-night stand, my heart was building up walls that would keep everyone out. That allowing men access to my body would make it seemingly impossible to receive a hug, hear someone tell me I’m beautiful, or let myself be loved. I stopped having sex and you have the freedom to stop as well.

In college, thanks to God’s intervention, I realized that the lie I was living needed to end. That despite what the world was telling me, I could stop having sex. I could save it for its proper context and I could regain the part of me that is so precious. My heart could remain with God until He asks me to give it away. Meeting God in the depths of my heart and hearing His voice was for me the start of the battle to change.

The battle to claim a new life in Christ and to shed away the masks of false identity. And it was scary, really scary. Would I find someone who would love me for me? I was graced with the presence of many influential women at the time who continue to show me that living with dignity and strength comes from my knowledge of who my Father is, and who I am: His daughter. I learned that while on His cross, the Lord saw all those lonely nights I lay in bed wondering if this is as good as it gets. He bore the pain of my wounds and today allows me to live in the freedom, which He has promised. The wounds that sometimes still feel open and raw I have slowly and gently placed into the Hands of Him who speaks the truth of my goodness to my heart. He is my Father and yours, First let Him in and He will do the rest.

In addition, if you want to know why condoms cannot stop you from getting pregnant click here>>>

Story Courtesy of focusoncampus.org





Facebook Founder Meets Pope Francis

29 08 2016

Facebook Founder meet with Pope Francis.jpg

In the latest in a series of meetings with tech industry heavyweights this year, Pope Francis today received in private audience Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook.

In a statement, Holy See Press Office director Greg Burke said the Pope this morning met Zuckerberg along with his wife, Prescilla Chan.

Together they spoke about how to use communications technology to alleviate poverty, encourage a culture of encounter, and to communicate a message of hope, especially to the most disadvantaged,” the statement read.

Although praised for bringing many people together and reconnecting friends, over the years Facebook has come under criticism for allowing blasphemous anti-Catholic pages, and more recently for censoring some politically conservative posts on the site.

But Zuckerberg himself appears to be a fan of Pope Francis, posting in March this year amessage congratulating the Holy Father for opening an Instagram account. Facebook bought the on-line image sharing site in 2012.

“Welcome to Instagram, Pope Francis!,” Zuckerberg wrote. “No matter what faith you practice, we can all be inspired by Pope Francis’s humility and compassion. I’m looking forward to following the Pope — and watching him continue sharing his message of mercy, equality and justice with the world.”

Zuckerberg is just the latest tech industry leader to meet the Pope. In separate meetings in January this year, Francis received Apple’s CEO Tim Cooke and Google’s former CEO, Eric Schmidt, at the Vatican.

A Vatican source told the Register at the time that the visits were not related to any particular collaborative communications projects with the Church but simply that both were attending the World Economic Forum in Davos and so it was convenient for them to call in.

Zuckerberg is in Italy to attend the wedding yesterday of Daniel Ek, founder of Spotify, at Lake Como.

The prefect of the Secretariat for Communications, Msgr. Dario Edoardo Viganò, has been in talks with Facebook for quite some time.

Article courtesy of ncregister.com





Cathy Freeman Won Olympic Gold in Full bodysuit

23 08 2016


Cathy Freeman, the Australian 400 metre gold medalist in the 2000 Olympics wore a full head and body suit.





How LGBTQ Won by Peter Hitchens

21 08 2016

The Gay, Lesbian, Transgender and Queer lobby groups have won in England according to Peter Hitchens and those who oppose gay marriage or allowing young people to use drugs are in for rough times

Please watch the Peter Hitchens vs Dan Savage debate and judge for yourselves.





100 Advice That Could Make You Successful

14 07 2016

Wise man
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use “we” when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. DON’T underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation from your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good it is.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.
34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have right of way, TAKE IT.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in great luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday, It’s her special day too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take Blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just take your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately. Come grade time it might come in handy.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for 9 months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They are just doing their job.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do. Not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest of fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before or after 9 AM and 9PM.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date commit to keeping them on and toning down how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make Goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.





13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married By ELEANOR STANFORD

4 07 2016

Man Consoling Girlfriend

When it comes to marriage, what you don’t know really can hurt you.

Whether because of shyness, lack of interest or a desire to preserve romantic mystery, many couples do not ask each other the difficult questions that can help build the foundation for a stable marriage, according to relationship experts.

In addition to wanting someone with whom they can raise children and build a secure life, those considering marriage now expect their spouses to be both best friend and confidant. These romantic-comedy expectations, in part thanks to Hollywood, can be difficult to live up to.

Sure, there are plenty of questions couples can ask of each other early in the relationship to help ensure a good fit, but let’s face it: most don’t.

“If you don’t deal with an issue before marriage, you deal with it while you’re married,” said Robert Scuka, the executive director of the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement. It can be hard to keep secrets decade after decade, and reticence before the wedding can lead to disappointments down the line.

The following questions, intimate and sometimes awkward, are designed to spark honest discussions and possibly give couples a chance to spill secrets before it’s too late.

1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreements arose?
A relationship’s success is based on how differences are dealt with, said Peter Pearson, a founder of the Couples Institute. As we are all shaped by our family’s dynamic, he said, this question will give you insight into whether your partner will come to mimic the conflict resolution patterns of his or her parents or avoid them.

2. Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers?
With the question of children, it is important to not just say what you think your partner wants to hear, according to Debbie Martinez, a divorce and relationship coach. Before marrying, couples should honestly discuss if they want children. How many do they want? At what point do they want to have them? And how do they imagine their roles as parents?

3. Will our experiences with our exes help or hinder us?
Bradford Wilcox, the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, pointed to research his organization has sponsored that indicated that having had many serious relationships can pose a risk for divorce and lower marital quality. (This can be because of a person having more experience with serious breakups and potentially comparing a current partner unfavorably with past ones.) Raising these issues early on can help, Dr. Wilcox said. Dr. Klein said people are “hesitant to explicitly talk about their past” and can feel retroactively jealous or judgmental. “The only real way to have those conversations in an intimate and productive way and loving way is to agree to accept that the other person had a life before the couple,” he said.

4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all?
If two people come from different religious backgrounds, is each going to pursue his or her own religious affiliation? Dr. Scuka has worked with couples on encouraging honest discussion around this issue as the executive director of the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement. What is more, spouses are especially likely to experience conflict over religious traditions when children are added to the mix, according to Dr. Wilcox. If the couple decide to have children, they must ask how the children’s religious education will be handled. It is better to have a plan, he said.

5. Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out?
It’s important to know how your partner feels about financial self-sufficiency and whether he or she expects you to keep your resources separate, said Frederick Hertz, a divorce lawyer. Disclosing debts is very important. Equally, if there is a serious discrepancy between your income and your partner’s, Dr. Scuka recommended creating a basic budget according to proportional incomes. Many couples fail to discuss sharing finances, though it is crucial, he said.

6. What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a car, a couch, shoes?
Couples should make sure they are on the same page in terms of financial caution or recklessness. Buying a car is a great indicator, according to Mr. Hertz. Couples can also frame this question around what they spend reckless amounts of money on, he said.
7. Can you deal with my doing things without you?

Going into marriage, many people hope to keep their autonomy in certain areas of their life at the same time they are building a partnership with their spouse, according to Seth Eisenberg, the president of Pairs (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills). This means they may be unwilling to share hobbies or friends, and this can lead to tension and feelings of rejection if it isn’t discussed. Couples may also have different expectations as to what “privacy” means, added Dr. Klein, and that should be discussed, too. Dr. Wilcox suggested asking your partner when he or she most needs to be alone.

8. Do we like each other’s parents?
As long as you and your partner present a united front, having a bad relationship with your in-laws can be manageable, Dr. Scuka said. But if a spouse is not willing to address the issue with his or her parents, it can bode very poorly for the long-term health of the relationship, he said. At the same time, Dr. Pearson said, considering the strengths and weaknesses of your parents can illuminate future patterns of attachment or distancing in your own relationship.

9. How important is sex to you?
Couples today expect to remain sexually excited by their spouse, an expectation that did not exist in the past, according to Mr. Eisenberg. A healthy relationship will include discussion of what partners enjoy about sex as well as how often they expect to have it, Dr. Klein said. If people are looking to experience different things through sex — pleasure versus feeling young, for example — some negotiation may be required to ensure both partners remain satisfied.

10. How far should we take flirting with other people? Is watching pornography O.K.?
Dr. Klein said couples should discuss their attitudes about pornography, flirting and expectations for sexual exclusivity. A couple’s agreement on behavior in this area can, and most likely will, change down the line, he said, but it is good to set the tone early on so both partners are comfortable discussing it. Ideally, sexual exclusivity should be talked about in the same way as other day-to-day concerns, so that problems can be dealt with before a partner becomes angry, he said. Dr. Pearson suggested asking your partner outright for his or her views on pornography. Couples are often too scared to ask about this early in the relationship, but he has frequently seen it become a point of tension down the line, he said.

11. Do you know all the ways I say “I love you”?
Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, “The 5 Love Languages,” introduced this means of categorizing expressions of love to strengthen a marriage. Ms. Martinez hands her premarriage clients a list of the five love languages: affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. She asks them to mark their primary and secondary languages and what they think is their partner’s, and discuss them. Mr. Eisenberg said that a couple needs to work out how to nurture the relationship, in a way specific to them.

12. What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves?
Can you imagine the challenges ever outweighing the admiration? If so, what would you do? Anne Klaeysen, a leader of the New York Society for Ethical Culture, said that couples rarely consider that second question. Ideally, marriage is a life commitment, she said, and it’s not enough to just “click together,” as many couples describe their relationship. A marriage must go deeper than that original “click.”

13. How do you see us 10 years from now?
Keeping the answer to this question in mind can help a couple deal with current conflict as they work toward their ultimate relationship goals, according to Mr. Eisenberg.

Dr. Wilcox said this discussion could also be an opportunity to raise the question of whether each partner will consider divorce if the relationship deteriorates, or whether they expect marriage to be for life, come what may.

Credit The NewYorkTimes





From the eyes of a victim of rape by Libbie Peters

2 07 2016

libbie peters

In the wake of this landmark decision by the Supreme Court in favor of “women’s rights” I’ve decided to “come out” so to speak, so that maybe those who are convinced that this decision is a huge victory for our country and women in this country will finally see abortion how I see it. From the eyes of a victim of rape, and a mother to a “product” of rape.

Other than myself, my attacker, and 2 very close friends no one knows this secret I’ve been hiding for over a year. Not my parents, not my siblings, and I will probably never tell my beautiful, and perfect 9 month old “product”. I decided to stay silent for fear of this man coming back to try and hurt me again in vengeance of me seeking justice. Although, I would not call him a “man”, he was a coward.

I’m not going to sugar-coat this. I’m going to be 100% truthful and real, not because I want your pity, but because I want you to be educated.

It was just a normal night out with friends, 2 beers with the girls and 1 shot bought by some random guys at the bar. But then it wasn’t so normal.

Now being a not-so-Kardashian-sized individual (I’ve got curves y’all), and being 1/2 German, that small amount of alcohol over the course of the 4.5 hours we were at the bar should not have affected me the way it did.

The rest was a blur.

When I finally “came to” I was in the back of some car, completely un-dresssed and there he was- a guy I had met in the bar, and the man I still fear to this day.

I drove home (somehow) and immediately got into the shower and noticed the bruises all over my body. From being held down and pushed around in order for this “man” to get what he wanted- against my will.

Two months later I discovered what I feared- I was pregnant with my attacker’s child. And from that moment on I created a string of lies so that if someone asked me who it was I’d have an answer, a made up answer, but an answer so that no one would ask any questions that would reveal the truth. But the truth has been eating at me since that night.

I was forced to make a decision- adoption or keep the baby.

You notice how abortion isn’t on that list? That is because it was never, and should NEVER be an option. This precious baby was the result of a horrible, and terrifying circumstance, but this baby was not to blame for that. I knew that regardless of my decision my life was going to change.

So before you preach to me about “well, what if…?” or “it is the Woman’s right to choose”, just don’t. Because here I am, the perfect answer to the example I’ve heard time and time again “well, what if the woman was raped? She should get to choose!”.

And you’re right, she should get to choose. But not whether or not that baby should live, whether or not she wants this tremendous blessing in her life, or if she’d like to bless another family with this precious gift.

So that brings me to today. This landmark decision by the Supreme Court striking down Texas’s HB2 which would cause 75% of abortion clinics here, in Texas, to close.

Obviously, I was hoping, and praying for this bill to be upheld so that the closing of these clinics would allow women to research other options than abortion but, we know how that ended.

So here I am, out loud and proud (how fitting following “Pride weekend”). I want people to know that this victim survivor is done being silent. I’m here telling those who have never gone through something like this that abortion is not a “woman’s right”, LIFE is every human’s right- including that unborn HUMAN, whether that human is male, female, straight, gay, black, white, etc. They deserve their chance to choose.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I prayed every night that my child came out looking like me and not having any resemblance to this “man”. And I’d be lying that some days when I look at her I am reminded of that night, and I am reminded of how I tracked him down to tell him I was pregnant, and how he acted like he wanted to be a part of her life at first, and then the next day threw me against a wall and threatened to kill me and my child. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve considered going “after him” for child support, or seeking other assistance from the government because being a single mom that is also a full-time college student isn’t easy, or very lucrative. But I didn’t. And I won’t. I CHOOSE to do it on my own and not be another streotype “living off of the government”.

I CHOSE life for my precious little “product”. Even though I had every grounds to terminate the pregnancy. Hell, I could have killed my baby, told my story and been deemed a hero.

But here I am, a year and a half later, stressed out of my mind, constantly tired, feeling like I’m always failing at life, or motherhood, but I will never regret my decision to CHOOSE to give this precious angel life. One little smile and I’m reminded that after every storm, comes the sun. And my little ray of sunshine is worth every sleepless night where I cry myself to sleep wondering if I’ll ever be able to give this little one the life and the “normal” family she deserves. I wonder if she’ll ever have an actual dad who loves her like his own. Because obviously, her real dad isn’t an option.

But regardless, I am speaking up so that those of you who think this decision was “brave” and “amazing” and was a “victory for women in Texas and across America” (quote from Hilary Clinton), and I’m telling you that it’s a very sad day in this country. Abortion is not about women’s rights, it takes away human rights from the innocent and defenseless.

So take a good look. Here’s the face of a survivor and a “product” of rape. Happy, healthy, and loved by each other. I’m happy to know that she and I both have the right to choose, but I’m glad that I CHOSE LIFE.








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