The leftist organizer Saul Alinsky died and was received at the Infernal Gates by Satan himself.
The Devil said to Alinsky: “WELCOME! You have won many souls for me over the years. Your Industrial Areas Foundation was successful in corrupting the Catholic Campaign for Human Development, which could have done so much damage to my initiatives on Earth. You have helped win millions of souls for me. Why, I especially appreciate the fact that you dedicated one of your books to me!” [NOTE: This is a fact — Alinsky dedicated his famous Rules for Radicals to Lucifer].
“For all of these reasons, because of the service you have done me, I will give you your choice of Capitalist Hell or Communist Hell.”
“What’s the difference between them?”
“Go and ask the administrators. Karl Marx runs Communist Hell, of course, and the head of Capitalist Hell is the original capitalist and author of The Wealth of Nations, Adam Smith.”
So a trembling Alinsky walked through the Infernal Gates and noticed that there was a long line of people waiting to get into Communist Hell, and nobody at all trying to get into Capitalist Hell. In fact, Adam Smith was asleep at his desk!
Alinsky walked over to Smith, kicked him in the shin, and demanded “Wake up, you capitalist running dog! What do you do to people in your filthy Capitalist Hell?”
Smith woke up, drowsily rubbed his eyes, and replied “In Capitalist Hell, we skin you alive with dull knives, boil what’s left in hot oil, chain you to a white hot rock, and let the vultures disembowel you. Then you are supernaturally reconstituted, and we do this over and over again throughout eternity.”
Alinsky reeled back in shock and said “I want nothing to do with this, you animal! I am going over to Communist Hell!”
Alinsky proceeded to push his way up to the front of the long line waiting to be admitted into Communist Hell, and shouted to a harried and sweating Karl Marx: “Comrade Marx! Please, tell me what you do to people in Communist Hell!”
Marx glanced at him with irritation and replied “In Communist Hell, we skin you alive with dull knives, boil what’s left in hot oil, chain you to a white hot rock, and let the vultures disembowel you. Then you are supernaturally reconstituted, and we do this over and over again throughout eternity.”
Alinsky was shocked. “But … but that is exactly the same as what they do in Capitalist Hell! Then why is everyone trying to get into Communist Hell, if the tortures are the same?”
Marx shrugged. “Comrade Alinsky, this is a Communist institution. We’re always running out of knives, running out of vultures, running out of oil …”