10 reasons I am happy I kept my Virginity till Marriage by Maureen Abah

6 05 2015

maureen maba

Today, purity and chastity seems out of fashion. Girls see sex as the ultimate fulfillment of their relationship with guys. Sexually active guys were considered “winners” and sexually active girls are called “experienced.” On the other hand, someone who saves his or her virginity for marriage is taken to be a prude, sexually incapable, or repressed by the Church. However, the reality is completely the opposite. Let’s take a look at 10 reasons why I did not loose my virginity to my boyfriend until we got married and why I am happy about it.
1. Because our relationship was not hinged on sex, we had good communication between us. This was because we were not just focused on pleasure but on the joy of sharing our views and experiences with each other; moreover, our conversations became deeper. By contrast, many of my girlfriends who had sex with their boyfriends complained of lack of emotional intimacy with their partners despite the physical intimacy. Sex is an easy way to relate, but it overshadows other forms of communication. It is a way of avoiding the real work involved in emotional intimacy, like talking about deep personal issues and working on the basic differences between the two of you.

  1. My boyfriend and I had deep conversations and shared interests. Sex can lead teenage girls to think they are emotionally close to guys, when in fact they are not. A romantic relationship essentially consists in cultivating a friendship, and there is no friendship without conversation and shared interests. Personal conversation creates friendships and helps us to discover one another and get to know the other’s qualities and flaws. Some young people are driven by passion, and when they get to know each other more deeply, they end up disenchanted. And they did not get to know each other because they never got to be friends; instead, they were “friends with benefits.”
  2. My boyfriend and I were good friends with our parents. When guys and girls respect each other, their love matures and improves their friendship with both sets of parents. Generally, parents prefer their unmarried children to live lives of sexual continence, and they are concerned if they know their children are sexually active without being married. When a couple knows they have to hide their sexual relations, their guilt and stress grow. Couples who decide to wait relate more amicably with their own parents and with their beloved’s parents.
  3. My boyfriend and I felt free to question whether we should continue the relationship. Sexual relationships have the power to strongly unite two people, and can prolong an unhealthy relationship based on physical attraction or the need for security. A person may feel “trapped” in a relationship that they would like to end, but they can’t find their way out. A person who is not having sex can more easily break the emotional bond to the other, because there has not been such powerful intimacy on the physical level. Moreover, if the woman gets pregnant, both partners do not feel as free to decide to get separated, get married, go to work, and so on.
  4. Our non-sexual relationship encouraged us to be generous with one another instead of being selfish. Sexual relations in dating can lead to selfishness and a focus on self-satisfaction. They can lead people to feel like they are competing with others whom their partner may find more attractive. It fosters insecurity and selfishness, because when you get sexually intimate, the tendency is to ask for more and more.
  5. My boyfriend and I seldom fought or quarreled. Sex outside of marriage is associated with violence and other forms of abuse. For example, there is more than twice the physical aggression among couples living together without any commitment than among married couples. There is less jealousy and less selfishness in dating couples who decide to postpone sexual activity than in those who are driven by passion.
  6. Because we practiced abstinence, my boyfriend and I found new ways to show affection for one another; we used inventiveness and ingenuity to have a good time and to demonstrate our interest in each other. The relationship became stronger as we had more opportunities to get to know each other’s character and habits, and learn the ways to maintain the relationship.
  7. We have been happily married for 15 years with 6 children and still in love. Research shows that couples who have cohabited are more likely to divorce than those who have not cohabited.
  8. My girlfriend who decided to break off the relationship with a guy with whom she had been having sex, but who was abusing her and taken her virginity was very hurt and humiliated when the guy went to town bragging about how many time he had her and so on. When sex is involved, break-up and the resulting pain is more intense. When you have not been sexually intimate and decide to break up, the separation is less devastating.
  9. Most importantly, my boyfriend and I had a lot of confidence in ourselves while we were dating; the reason was that we could look each other in the eye without the guilt and shame that sexually active people often have. Our sexual restraint enhanced our intellectual, artistic, and social potential as we put all that creative energy into developing our talents and our marriage today.
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16 responses

17 05 2017
Ntube

very good arguments. thanks a lot for the advice and encouragements. I’m 21 & I’ve never dated becoz I believe I don’t have self-control. so I tot to myself d best solution is to avoid d problems in the first. I’m really touched by your arguments.I pray God helps me to keep my virginity till I get married…!

18 01 2016
precious

Why me? how i wish am still a VIRGIN,I am precious by name and am 17years old now ,i was defiled at the age of 6years and since then i have been involving myself into pre-marital Sex.Please i need help,am nowhelpless what should i do friends? please help me out and am deeply inlove with a guy but at times do ask for Sex,what should i do?(crying)………..Please.
By:precious

18 01 2016
Emily

Hello, Precious, you are precious in our eyes and in the eyes of the Lord your creator. There is no need to cry, Precious. We love you. Forget the past and begin again. Your past is past. I am like you, even worse. As a child, I was severely assaulted sexually by our househelp, a boy. He assaulted me over a long period and my parents were unaware and I was too scared to tell. As I was growing up, I did a lot of sex, even in brothels. I also watch many porno movies, I was hurting so bad and damaging myself. After every sex, I would be scared I had caught HIV or some other terrible killer disease but God saved me. I Didn’t even realize what was happened to me until I grew older, but I have overcome the damages he did to me. How I did it? I went to confession with a priest and told him all that happened and he prayed for me and the good lord healed me. I began going to regular confession and attending church and bible classes. I stopped watching bad movies and pornography. I stopped reading magazine and novels with sexx themes and began to pray and receive Jesus in my life. I also began to read the bible regularly asking Jesus for help when I feel the temptations to sex. More importantly, I studied and passed my exams and now I am employed, married and with my family. You can do it too Precious, I know you can, stop crying, wipe your tears and kneel, pray, ask Jesus to help you and burn all the movies and novels that have sex in it, because the devil uses those pornography to wreck us spiritually, as the bible says, the carnal man cannot see God. Next, stop see all those boys who you had sex with in the past, destroy their telephone number and change your phone number so that they cannot contact you. You need to do this because once you have compromised yourself by having sex with a boy, anytime he see you he will start touching you and demanding sex and at time we are all too weak to resist. Lastly, read, study, the only true path to riches and success in life is hard work in your studies. Put your mind to good use by studying so that you can become a big rich woman and you will marry a very handsome and strong man with whom you will have many sweet children. Precious will you be my friend?

15 12 2015
Eneali chidimma princess

I am so happy that i have never losed my ………… to anyone,although many boys have come across me but i refused.so my sister do not cry/lament over spilt milk.but let me give you a simple word of encouraging advice,do you know you can revirginize yourself by keeping off from boys(that is been a spiritual virgin).let me just tell you three things to say to a boy whenever he comes to you to say somthing unreasonable,just say to him LEAVE ME ALONE.second I HAVE AN ASSINGMENT TO DO.third I AM GOING TO FOLLOWSHIP WITH GOD.i am just a girl of 14years and i am praying that God will help me retain it for my husband AMEN.MY SISTER YOUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF THY LORD.

15 12 2015
Editor

Dear Eneali Chidimma you are a true princess, and a wise one too. Love your advice and I hope many girls take them and keep doing their assignments and loving God so that he will send them a very rich and handsome husband when the time comes. Your future husband will be tall and handsome, he will love you very much for keeping it for him. Well done princess

25 05 2016
leah shiko

Enealli chidima princess..am really proud of you…u are a wise girl . sure we have an assignment n that is to take care of bodies God has given us. Am 23 n fighting to win the battle until a day in the near future I wil officially have sex God’s way

10 06 2015
merckarumba7

Reblogged this on mercreations.

6 05 2015
Zubair Bokhari

I very well understand your point of view. You are right in saying that but truly speaking one can not at all ignore the human instincts. Everybody is not that wise as you think. I being a physician have lot of interaction with different age group of people. Anyway, you are always welcome.

6 05 2015
Editor

I thank you. Since you are a physician, you will agree that a physician’s effective education of his patient is must important in treating an illness lets say diabetes. What will you think of a physician who willfully deceives his patients with lies and trickery, convincing to drink all the beer or eat all the sweet they wanted. Would you not think such a physician a particularly cruel man, responsible for ruining the lives of the people he is suppose to heal. Well that is what the hard/ soft core porn movies and sitcoms are doing to children and teenagers .

6 05 2015
Zubair Bokhari

The said subject is not like 2 + 2 = 4. Its all about human instincts. We can not go against law of nature. In depth its full of passions and emotions. 

6 05 2015
Editor

Zubair Bokhari We know that 2+2=4, and that animals are governed by instincts and passions. But we also know that humans are higher animals, capable of self determination. The law of our nature is that we can choose between what in the end will do us good and avoid what will harm us even if they appear good for the moment. 

6 05 2015
bikramjeet singh

nice

6 05 2015
Rose Poleene

I wish all young people would do as you do, its the only way and the way of a Godly life. Praise God

6 05 2015
Editor

Rose Poleene young people need good advice more than ever. Yet, so much fat solid lies are told them on tv and in the movies about sex… as a result many end up raped and deeply hurt.

6 05 2015
Priscilla Harp

That’s good news, and a good way of looking at it, but guys don’t wait on you, so don’t think for one minute, your getting the truth, wait for it. Wild!!! 

6 05 2015
Editor

Priscilla Harp, a guy who won’t wait on you probable won’t care for you. So take that sinking boat and dump it.

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