For only those who catch my eyes: Humor

29 08 2015

For only those who catch my eyes: Humor

Jeff lived on the second floor of a high‑rise apartment.  He was getting ready for his evening five‑mile run, and, glancing out his balcony window, he noticed that it was very cloudy.  He walked out onto the balcony and put his hand out in order to see if it was raining.

To his utter astonishment, a glass eye smacked squarely into his palm!  He gaped at it for a moment, then craned his neck to look up the side of the apartment building.  About six floors up, a young woman was leaning over.  She said “Oh, I’m so sorry!  I’m not used to that thing yet, and it just slipped out!  Would you be kind enough to bring it up to me?  I’m in apartment 812.”

Jeff shrugged and called back up to her that he would.  He took the elevator up to the eighth floor, rang the doorbell at apartment 812, and waited.  The door opened just a little, and a manicured hand reached out and took the glass eye.  A lovely voice said “My name is Marie.  If you would just give me a minute to fix myself up, you can come in.”

He waited for a moment, and Marie opened the door.  Jeff saw that she was just drop‑dead gorgeous, and his initial misgivings vanished.  She asked him if he wanted a drink, and she mixed him the best martini he had ever tasted.  Then she took him into the living room and made him comfortable in the sofa right in front of a 50‑inch flat‑screen monitor.

Then Marie asked him what his favorite dinner was.  He replied that it was filet mignon with garlic potatoes and asparagus, and, while he watched a football game, she ran out to a nearby grocery store, bought the proper ingredients, and cooked him up one of the best dinners he had ever had.  She laid it all out on the dining room table, which was nicely decorated with fresh flowers and lit candles.

Greatly impressed, Jeff asked her “Do you treat all men like this?

And Marie replied “Of course not, silly — only those who catch my eye!”


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