This video is worth 20 min of your time.
Comprehensive sex education (CSE) is an aggressive attack on children’s minds. We should join hands and STOP it.
This video is worth 20 min of your time.
Comprehensive sex education (CSE) is an aggressive attack on children’s minds. We should join hands and STOP it.
In the past if you were a hooker or porn star, you hid it from family. You wouldn’t want Mom and Dad to know about it. Today’s people are no longer ashamed of anything and they portray their shamelessness using rude words. Please watch Ms Dakota Johnson rudely berating her Mom, Melania Griffith for not having watched her bare ass on TV in “Fifty Shades of Gray.” How much lower can she go ?
Another former porn star has denounced pornography as a most dangerous scourge.
In the wake of Anthony Weiner’s sexting scandal and his subsequent divorce by his long-suffering wife Huma Abedin, Pamela Anderson, a former pornstar has drawn a correlation between porn use and wrecked marrages.
She writes in the WallStreet Journal, that Weiner’s scandal should “put to rest” any doubts one might have of “the addictive dangers of pornography.”
Anderson writes that, as a former Playboy model herself, she has “often warned about pornography’s corrosive effects on a man’s soul and on his ability to function as husband and, by extension, as father. This is a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness given how freely available, anonymously accessible and easily disseminated pornography is nowadays.”
She referred to pornography as “mass debasement,” “nefarious” and “the dark side of adult sexuality” that has not only “imploded” marriages but destroyed hordes of “talented men.”, and backed up her claims with statistics from the American Psychological Association that show that men who consume porn lead “less satisfactory intimate lives with their wives or girlfriends as a result of the consumption,” and compared these statistics to those of cocaine use by drug addicts to really hammer her message home.
She called pornography “a public hazard of unprecedented seriousness”. And concluded by saying “porn is for losers” and calls it “a boring wasteful and dead-end outlet for people too lazy to reap the ample rewards of healthy sexuality”.
These where the same words DJ Wade used to describe how he felt when his wife discovered his addiction:
One day, my wife, Belinda, pulled me aside and said she wanted to talk to me. She explained that she had seen the Internet History on my computer. She was exposed to all the sites I had looked at and wanted to know why I was looking at these sites. I had no choice but to admit my struggle to her and how long it had been a struggle.
She was crushed and simultaneously furious.
Belinda had every right to experience both of these emotions as I had broken our marriage vows via my pornography addiction and dishonesty. She then asked me what I planned to do about it. I had no answer, which only added to her pain. She then went for the jugular. She looked me square in my eyes and asked me what kind of example I was going to be to my sons. What was I going to say to them when its time to talk sex, lust and dating?
I was beyond embarrassed. I felt worthless. I thought I was a loser. I knew I was a liar.
The porn-saturated brain is fixated on sex, Dr. William Struthers explains, but real sex is intended for intimacy. The pornified brain is ready for multiple partners, images, and sexual possibilities, but it is intended for a narrow focus of exclusive sharing. Porn’s neurological superhighway is built for speed, but satisfying sex is designed for the slow and evolving discovery and appreciation of a loving partner. Porn provides few off-ramps (masturbation) that offer fleeting escapes that hasten the need for more. Meanwhile a committed couple can have long and satisfying encounters with many off ramps for creative expressions of intimacy that are not genitally oriented.
Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is an addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn’t like it.
How porn hurts marital sex
Pornographers want people to believe that viewing porn is harmless entertainment and that it can even spice up one’s love life, but the opposite is true. Rather than encouraging intimacy, research shows that porn steals it away.
Porn encourages selfishness rather than an exchange of intimacy. Especially among men, who are more visually stimulated than women, porn teaches that women are objects for their lust. Women are just body parts, used for personal gratification.
Pornography trains men to be consumers, to treat sex as a commodity, to think about sex as something on-tap and made-to-order. As Dr. Mary Anne Layden writes, “It is toxic miseducation about sex and relationships.”6
Dr. Judith Reisman summarizes it well: Pornography causes impotence — an inability to function with your own sexual power. “If he has to imagine a picture, if he has to imagine a scene, in order to actually reach the heights of completion with this person, then he’s no longer with his own power, is he? He has been stripped. He has been hijacked. He has been emasculated. He has, in effect, been castrated visually.”
Porn and Erectile Dysfunction
If the concerns above were not enough, many men become so habituated to pornography that they experience erectile dysfunction when they are with their spouse. Rather than performing better, as pornography promises, many men find that they can only achieve consistent and sustained erections with porn.
Drs. Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson explained in Psychology Today that overstimulation with pornography creates changes in the brain that make a man less responsive to the physical pleasure of a real woman and hyper-responsive to Internet porn. Men become sensitized to Internet porn, but desensitized to sex in general, which requires more and more stimulation to achieve arousal. When preparing for real sex, the pornified brain fails to get its dopamine surge and the signal to the penis is too weak to achieve erection. But turn on an Internet device with unlimited pages of novelty, and boom, the plumbing works.
Fast-growing online communities of people who call themselves “Fapstronauts” complain that porn is the root of their problems with ED and premature ejaculation. “Fapping,” slang for masturbating to Internet porn, is causing these people so many troubles they banded together for support. One online community claims 50,000 members, and their goal is to encourage each other to avoid pornography and masturbation for 90 days in the hope of never going back.
Because of the brain’s plasticity, people once consumed by porn can rearrange their neural networks to enjoy only sexual intimacy with their spouse, and studies show these relationships to be the most satisfying.
For instance, male porn users often believe more partners will bring greater satisfaction. But a 2011 study of long-term committed relationships (with a median duration of 25 years) showed the opposite. The study showed that the longer a man was in a relationship, the more likely he enjoyed relational happiness and sexual satisfaction. Women, in turn, enjoyed sex less during the early years of their relationships and experienced greater satisfaction later.
Another study in 2010 showed that couples who delay sex until their wedding night enjoy more stable and happier marriages. They also rated the quality of sex and the satisfaction in their relationships 15% and 20% higher respectively than couples who had premarital sex.
The results of these studies are nothing new, Dr. Weiss says. Studies and surveys of married couples have shown positive sexual satisfaction results for decades.
The research shows that people who have consistent sex inside of a marriage — spiritually connected sex — have the best sexual satisfaction over time. The person that has the most sexual partners has the least level of sexual satisfaction as adults.
Unlike a porn video or a magazine, sex with a real-life committed partner has many points of arousal and satisfaction, from words and tones of voice, to touch, to the temperature of skin, and many other interactions. Yes, dopamine likes novelty. For the porn user that means more porn, but in a committed relationship novelty never has to end.
“Fortunately, lovers can stimulate their dopamine, keeping the high alive, by injecting novelty into their relationship,” Dr. Doidge writes. “When a couple go on a romantic vacation or try new activities together, or wear new kinds of clothing, or surprise each other, they are using novelty to turn on the pleasure centers, so that everything they experience, including each other, excites and pleases them.”
For minds and marriages wounded by porn, great sex and true intimacy will not arrive overnight. Repairing brokenness in marriage requires real work and determination. Building trust takes time.
If you want help to break your porn addiction, please read the Porn Circuit, a free ebook click here>>
My Husband’s a Porn addict: How Can I compete With Her?
I’ll never forget the first time I walked in on my husband looking at Internet
pornography. Immediately my heart sank, and I remember this sick feeling wash
over me. The thought that began to plague my mind instantly was, “How will I ever
be able to compete with her?”
If I think about that day I can remember exactly what the woman looked like. How
she was posing and what her facial expression was. I would tell you what she was
wearing but that’s just it…she wasn’t wearing anything. She was very well endowed
and made me look like I was just about to get my first training bra. Her long,
gorgeous, blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders but not enough to cover up
I knew my husband, Chris, struggled with lust because we’d been married for five
years. His admissions seemed to be vulnerable and honest but I’d later find it was
just a smokescreen. I didn’t realize how hard it would hit me to walk in on him in the
middle of him fulfilling his lustful moment. I guess I was okay with his sin being “out
of sight, out of mind.”
Chris’ introduction to pornography came when he was merely eight years old. He
didn’t ask for his sin to begin at that age, but it did. And for a growing, curious
boy the desire to see more only grew throughout the rest of his childhood and
adolescence. The hunger could be satiated by an occasional look at a National
Geographic if you weren’t picky about the kind of naked women you’d see. His
newfound addiction didn’t totally bombard his life as a youngster simply because
to obtain such racy material meant that you had to know someone who could buy a
Playboyor a Penthousefrom the local convenience store.
The date is indelibly written in my mind. I will never forget what I was doing when
Chris walked in the door that Tuesday morning. We’d been in our new home in our
new town for less than a week when he dropped the biggest bomb on me. After
asking me to join him on the sofa, he proceeded to tell me that he’d been unfaithful
to me many times with many different women over a period of about two-and-a-half
years. In the midst of my immediate reeling, devastation, and line of questioning, he
admitted that he was a full-blown porn addict.
In the early days, looking at pictures of naked women was enough to satisfy his
craving. But, over time, looking at pictures turned into watching videos, which
eventually turned into chatting with women who were just as messed up as he was.
And before long, the unthinkable occurred: His online fantasy became a reality with
As he shared with me how this once small addiction spiraled out of control, I
learned that these horrendous actions weren’t because he didn’t love me but
because he was unable—or unwilling—to get free from his addiction. It sure didn’t
feel like he loved me but eventually I realized that the bondage that took over his life
was more than he could handle. So he acted out. .continue reading
Olympian Nick Willis says he has no regrets over breaking his silence about his pornography addiction.
Willis took to Facebook today to react to the publicity around his revelation, which he posted on his page several days ago.
“I guess I never realised how much interest the media would have in my Facebook post but I want to affirm that breaking the silence is worth it if even only one person succeeds in winning his/her battle,” he said.
Friends and family commented, commending him on his admission.
One person wrote; “Good on you… takes a lot of courage. Doesn’t change my view on you. Go hard and keep chasing your dreams”.
Another person wrote; “Very brave and I’m sure it will make an impact in more than one life”.
Family First director and anti-pornography advocate Bob McCoskrie said people who admit and talk about a harmful addiction could actually help others who may be going through a similar struggle.
“They’re actually bringing a reality check to what pornography is really about and I think that as a society, we’re starting to go down that track finally.”
Mr McCoskrie said it’s very brave of a sports star to admit to a porn addiction and he commended Mr Willis for speaking out.
“His relationships and his family will be better for the fact he’s fronted up to the problem and wants to see it solved.”
Willis says the strength of his wife helped him beat the addiction threatening their relationship and his ability to be a father.
In an exclusive interview with the Herald on Sunday, the champion 32-year-old middle distance runner opened up on his obsession with pornography and his shame in dealing with it.
Talking last night, the Rio Olympics-bound runner credited his wife of eight years, Sierra, for beating his dependence.
“Sierra showed a great amount of grace with me,” Willis said.
“We decided to beat it together. We talked openly about the issues of sex trafficking, abuse of women, objectification of women and accessibility of pornography for young people on cell phones.
“Getting this topic out of my secret life into the open, and talking, talking, talking has been the biggest impact in breaking the cycle.”
Willis, a medallist at both Olympic and Commonwealth Games, lives in Michigan with Sierra and their 2-year-old son, Lachlan.
A proud Christian, he recalled the pain coming clean about his addiction had on his loving wife.
“The hurt she felt was something I never wanted to make her experience again,” he said.
“Before I focused on how my addiction affected me, but it wasn’t until I realised the effect it had on others, especially my wife that I committed to change.”
Willis has been porn-free for two-and-a-half years.
This week he marked the milestone by posting on Facebook that his addiction to pornography, which had started as a teen, had been a “rollercoaster ride of shame and justification”.
He told the Herald on Sunday, his addiction began when he was a young, lonely teenager trying to figure out his place in the world.
“I was exposed to magazines and videos at a young age and the objectification of the women on these media forms became an outlet for me to gain some form of intimacy that I severely lacked.”
It took him years to figure out that what he was regarded as “sexy and appealing” was a false reality.
“My understanding of how to form real relationships with the opposite sex became hijacked.”
In fact it wasn’t until Willis was in his early twenties that it dawned on him his attraction to pornography was an addiction.
“I felt convicted about its harmful effects on women, on men and on marriages,” he said.
“Despite my convictions, I kept falling back to my secret life every couple of weeks or months.
“I was counting the days and weeks of how long it had been, so it became clear to me that it was not something I could easily shrug off.”
Now two and a half years on from breaking the cycle, Willis said he felt “amazing”. Referencing the article “What it means to be pro-sex and anti-porn” he shared on Facebook, he took pains to make a distinction between porn and acts of love.
“Porn makes you think you are having sexual needs met. But really, they are hollow and leave you feeling empty and lonelier than before.
“Basically, pornography is a very unnatural (and very temporary) solution that people use to satisfy a natural desire.
“Pornography will not and cannot love you back.”
Getting this topic out of my secret life out into the open, and talking, talking, talking has been the biggest impact in breaking the cycle.”
Willis and his wife decided it was time to make a public stance on the growing problem of easily accessible pornography in our society.
“Sharing a small personal testimony of my journey with pornography was important to give my public stance authenticity and let others know it’s possible to go without.”
Director of the University of Otago’s National Addiction Centre, Professor Doug Sellman, said there was an impression in his field that porn addiction was on the rise due to easily accessed electronic porn.
Sellman said the key to an addict’s recovery was learning new ways of behaving.
“The old patterns will always be there, but the more a person practices the new behaviour it will trump the old addictive responses.
“However, new accountabilities to other people in the person’s life can be very motivating.”
Willis’ decision to go public with his personal experiences was one way of helping him put an end to his addiction, the top athlete said.
He said prior to speaking out he’d spent sleepless nights wrestling with images he couldn’t get out of his head.
“I sleep so well now. The freedom I experience now allows me to walk tall.”
He urged others in the same position to do the same.
“Don’t believe the lie that this is a natural and fine thing for men to participate in. It will affect everything in your life, especially your ability to experience true intimacy.
“Bring your secret life out into the open … say never again and walk away.”
He has now learned pornography is not healthy.
“My eyes have now become truly open to the lies of pornography, that it is a completely fake distortion of sex and women. It is not sexy nor appealing. I am no longer duped by a false reality.”
February 18, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) — NFL player-turned screen actor Terry Crews has used his Facebook page to air a five-minute statement about the longtime addiction to pornography that all but wrecked his marriage and distorted all his relationships. The video has been viewed over 1.7 million times since he posted February 11.
“It changes the way you think about people,” he said during the monologue titled “Dirty Little Secret.” Speaking throughout from the driver’s seat of his car, the veteran of several NFL teams between 1991 and 1997 and supporting actor in several movies and now the police procedural Brooklyn Nine-Nine, added, “People become objects to be used rather than people to be loved,” and admitted he had to go into “rehab” to deal with the problem.
After seven years in the NFL the onetime courtroom artist went on to an acting career on TV and in film, with his recurring role as the father onEverybody Hates Chris. A Christian himself from a devout family, he married gospel singer Rebecca King and has had four children with her, also raising her stepson from a previous relationship with the whole menage the subject of a briefly-aired reality TV show.
Crews has told his story before, but explains in this video that confession is not only good for the soul, it is a cornerstone of recovery from a wide range of substance and behavioural dependencies, which is the operational truth of the 12-Step movement started by Alcoholics Anonymous.
“By not telling someone [the addiction] becomes powerful. By telling someone it loses its power,” Crews urges. Another bedrock AA belief is that an addict who shares his “experience, strength and hope” with other addicts, helps himself and them recover. For six years now, he continued, “it became my battle” to share his addiction and recovery to encourage others to deal with their own pornography addiction.
He apologizes to those who look at pornography without compulsion and insists he isn’t judging anyone. He invites anyone with any viewpoint to respond but especially those who are addicted, because sharing helps deal with it.
The turning point for him, he indicates, was when his wife found out and said she was leaving. “My wife was like: ‘I don’t know you anymore…[She] could have decided: ‘I’m gone…That would have been it. That was her choice. She didn’t do it. She stayed with me. She knew I was repentant. She knew I was going to get help. She knew I was sorry.”
Crews does not explain the origins of his addiction on the new video but has previously said he turned to pornography at the age of 12 to escape the misery of his abusive family of origin, itself marred by addictions. “It medicated me,” he said, but also transformed him.
In time it almost wrecked his marriage, as he pressured his wife to imitate the sexual scenarios he saw depicted on Internet porn sites by young women, often from impoverished backgrounds, many of them from Eastern Europe being kept in conditions approaching slavery.
I started “habitually and compulsively” watching pornography or blue films as it is popularly called and engaging in sex when I stumbled across pornography at 13 years old. At first, I was appalled, but by the time I saw it over and over again, as violent and degrading as it was, I began to see it as love. The two people on the screen are being intimate. I began to imagine myself in the scene as opposed to standing outside of it looking in. I was stimulated by the fantasy of being that woman in the video and I began to try out what I watched.
I view online pornography everyday for half an hour or more at a time, and I have done this on multiple occasions and have felt “out of control” with sex, sexting and masturbation. I have had sex with about 57 men and none of my relationship ever lasted for more than a month. Simple things like a guy’s hairy chest or the outline of his trousers can trigger intense sexual desires in my head and at times masturbate five or six times a day. It is that bad. I am 43 and unmarried and I really don’t know who will marry me. I have had four abortions and I have had to treat myself 5 times for severe sexual transmitted disease.
All in all, I suffer severe depression and know I would have remained a virgin till marriage but for the availability of online pornography. Pornography has almost ruined my life and yet it is everywhere. It used to be sold discreetly behind the counter or some obscure bookshops, now, millions of websites are offering the most depraved hardcore graphic and lurid sex scenes a click away on any smartphone with internet connection bringing in its wake an unprecedented obsession with sex building up some brutal and unattainable sexual desires which guarantee that they easily succumb any temptation to have sex with almost anybody. Actually, if you are watching pornography, you don’t need a guy to tempt you into having sex. You are practically going to be begging for it.
I recently came across the video of Oghosa Ovienrioba Speaks on how she got addicted to porn at 14 and her work helping others to kick the habit.
She says, “Lots of people don’t think girls can suffer a porn addiction but it’s a problem for both sexes. I hope I can help others out there – talking about your problem is the first step.’
‘I was 14 years old when I went to find porn on the internet. It was out of curiosity and it was just a simple Google search for me to get hold of an adult movie.‘When I first watched it, my reaction was shock. But gradually over time, that shock becomes excitement and I would use any porn that I could get my hands on.’
‘I was watching it so much that I started to get bored by the “normal” soft porn movies.
‘I wasn’t getting the buzz that I felt when I first saw it – in fact I was almost desensitized to that content.
‘I went from watching soft pornography to dodgier stuff to get the kick I needed.’
‘For a period of two to three years, I was watching porn on a daily basis and sometimes masturbating over six times per day. It was all I could think about.’
‘I didn’t see people as people anymore – they were just sex objects to me.
‘The simplest things could set me off such as a girl unbuttoning her blouse or a boy taking his top off. Everything made me want more.
‘I would sit in my room alone for hours, with the lights off, watching porn. I felt lonely and ashamed of myself.’
Please watch her talk about her porn addiction in the 10 min video below
It is not just her, many guys wish they could stop right now but the urge to watch porn and masturbate are just too much for them Read
To understand harm watching pornography does to your brain, please download and read the Porn Circuit
Although much attention is focused on helping men break free from pornography addictions, ministries are rising up to help women find deliverance from this bondage. Beggar’s Daughter, Bethesda Workshops and Dirty Girls Ministries, among others, are offering God’s grace to women trapped in sexual sin. If you or a woman you know is addicted to pornography, I urge you to seek help.