I started “habitually and compulsively” watching pornography or blue films as it is popularly called and engaging in sex when I stumbled across pornography at 13 years old. At first, I was appalled, but by the time I saw it over and over again, as violent and degrading as it was, I began to see it as love. The two people on the screen are being intimate. I began to imagine myself in the scene as opposed to standing outside of it looking in. I was stimulated by the fantasy of being that woman in the video and I began to try out what I watched.
I view online pornography everyday for half an hour or more at a time, and I have done this on multiple occasions and have felt “out of control” with sex, sexting and masturbation. I have had sex with about 57 men and none of my relationship ever lasted for more than a month. Simple things like a guy’s hairy chest or the outline of his trousers can trigger intense sexual desires in my head and at times masturbate five or six times a day. It is that bad. I am 43 and unmarried and I really don’t know who will marry me. I have had four abortions and I have had to treat myself 5 times for severe sexual transmitted disease.
All in all, I suffer severe depression and know I would have remained a virgin till marriage but for the availability of online pornography. Pornography has almost ruined my life and yet it is everywhere. It used to be sold discreetly behind the counter or some obscure bookshops, now, millions of websites are offering the most depraved hardcore graphic and lurid sex scenes a click away on any smartphone with internet connection bringing in its wake an unprecedented obsession with sex building up some brutal and unattainable sexual desires which guarantee that they easily succumb any temptation to have sex with almost anybody. Actually, if you are watching pornography, you don’t need a guy to tempt you into having sex. You are practically going to be begging for it.
I recently came across the video of Oghosa Ovienrioba Speaks on how she got addicted to porn at 14 and her work helping others to kick the habit.
She says, “Lots of people don’t think girls can suffer a porn addiction but it’s a problem for both sexes. I hope I can help others out there – talking about your problem is the first step.’
‘I was 14 years old when I went to find porn on the internet. It was out of curiosity and it was just a simple Google search for me to get hold of an adult movie.‘When I first watched it, my reaction was shock. But gradually over time, that shock becomes excitement and I would use any porn that I could get my hands on.’
‘I was watching it so much that I started to get bored by the “normal” soft porn movies.
‘I wasn’t getting the buzz that I felt when I first saw it – in fact I was almost desensitized to that content.
‘I went from watching soft pornography to dodgier stuff to get the kick I needed.’
‘For a period of two to three years, I was watching porn on a daily basis and sometimes masturbating over six times per day. It was all I could think about.’
‘I didn’t see people as people anymore – they were just sex objects to me.
‘The simplest things could set me off such as a girl unbuttoning her blouse or a boy taking his top off. Everything made me want more.
‘I would sit in my room alone for hours, with the lights off, watching porn. I felt lonely and ashamed of myself.’
Please watch her talk about her porn addiction in the 10 min video below
It is not just her, many guys wish they could stop right now but the urge to watch porn and masturbate are just too much for them Read
To understand harm watching pornography does to your brain, please download and read the Porn Circuit
Although much attention is focused on helping men break free from pornography addictions, ministries are rising up to help women find deliverance from this bondage. Beggar’s Daughter, Bethesda Workshops and Dirty Girls Ministries, among others, are offering God’s grace to women trapped in sexual sin. If you or a woman you know is addicted to pornography, I urge you to seek help.