My Husband is A Porn Addict: A Recovery Guide for Wives

2 04 2016

 

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My Husband is a Porn Addict by Cindy beall

My Husband’s a Porn addict: How Can I compete With Her?

I’ll never forget the first time I walked in on my husband looking at Internet
pornography. Immediately my heart sank, and I remember this sick feeling wash
over me. The thought that began to plague my mind instantly was, “How will I ever
be able to compete with her?”
If I think about that day I can remember exactly what the woman looked like. How
she was posing and what her facial expression was. I would tell you what she was
wearing but that’s just it…she wasn’t wearing anything. She was very well endowed
and made me look like I was just about to get my first training bra. Her long,
gorgeous, blonde hair cascaded over her shoulders but not enough to cover up
anything.
I knew my husband, Chris, struggled with lust because we’d been married for five
years. His admissions seemed to be vulnerable and honest but I’d later find it was
just a smokescreen. I didn’t realize how hard it would hit me to walk in on him in the
middle of him fulfilling his lustful moment. I guess I was okay with his sin being “out
of sight, out of mind.”
Chris’ introduction to pornography came when he was merely eight years old. He
didn’t ask for his sin to begin at that age, but it did. And for a growing, curious
boy the desire to see more only grew throughout the rest of his childhood and
adolescence. The hunger could be satiated by an occasional look at a National
Geographic if you weren’t picky about the kind of naked women you’d see. His
newfound addiction didn’t totally bombard his life as a youngster simply because
to obtain such racy material meant that you had to know someone who could buy a
Playboyor a Penthousefrom the local convenience store.

The date is indelibly written in my mind. I will never forget what I was doing when
Chris walked in the door that Tuesday morning. We’d been in our new home in our
new town for less than a week when he dropped the biggest bomb on me. After
asking me to join him on the sofa, he proceeded to tell me that he’d been unfaithful
to me many times with many different women over a period of about two-and-a-half
years. In the midst of my immediate reeling, devastation, and line of questioning, he
admitted that he was a full-blown porn addict.
In the early days, looking at pictures of naked women was enough to satisfy his
craving. But, over time, looking at pictures turned into watching videos, which
eventually turned into chatting with women who were just as messed up as he was.
And before long, the unthinkable occurred: His online fantasy became a reality with
a woman.
As he shared with me how this once small addiction spiraled out of control, I
learned that these horrendous actions weren’t because he didn’t love me but
because he was unable—or unwilling—to get free from his addiction. It sure didn’t
feel like he loved me but eventually I realized that the bondage that took over his life
was more than he could handle. So he acted out. .continue reading





Porn Almost Ruined My Marriage: Nick Willis

10 03 2016

Nick Willis Porn Addiction

Olympian Nick Willis says he has no regrets over breaking his silence about his pornography addiction.

Willis took to Facebook today to react to the publicity around his revelation, which he posted on his page several days ago.

“I guess I never realised how much interest the media would have in my Facebook post but I want to affirm that breaking the silence is worth it if even only one person succeeds in winning his/her battle,” he said.

Friends and family commented, commending him on his admission.

One person wrote; “Good on you… takes a lot of courage. Doesn’t change my view on you. Go hard and keep chasing your dreams”.

Another person wrote; “Very brave and I’m sure it will make an impact in more than one life”.

Family First director and anti-pornography advocate Bob McCoskrie said people who admit and talk about a harmful addiction could actually help others who may be going through a similar struggle.
“They’re actually bringing a reality check to what pornography is really about and I think that as a society, we’re starting to go down that track finally.”

Mr McCoskrie said it’s very brave of a sports star to admit to a porn addiction and he commended Mr Willis for speaking out.

“His relationships and his family will be better for the fact he’s fronted up to the problem and wants to see it solved.”

Willis says the strength of his wife helped him beat the addiction threatening their relationship and his ability to be a father.

In an exclusive interview with the Herald on Sunday, the champion 32-year-old middle distance runner opened up on his obsession with pornography and his shame in dealing with it.

Talking last night, the Rio Olympics-bound runner credited his wife of eight years, Sierra, for beating his dependence.

“Sierra showed a great amount of grace with me,” Willis said.

“We decided to beat it together. We talked openly about the issues of sex trafficking, abuse of women, objectification of women and accessibility of pornography for young people on cell phones.

“Getting this topic out of my secret life into the open, and talking, talking, talking has been the biggest impact in breaking the cycle.”

Willis, a medallist at both Olympic and Commonwealth Games, lives in Michigan with Sierra and their 2-year-old son, Lachlan.

A proud Christian, he recalled the pain coming clean about his addiction had on his loving wife.

“The hurt she felt was something I never wanted to make her experience again,” he said.

“Before I focused on how my addiction affected me, but it wasn’t until I realised the effect it had on others, especially my wife that I committed to change.”

Willis has been porn-free for two-and-a-half years.

This week he marked the milestone by posting on Facebook that his addiction to pornography, which had started as a teen, had been a “rollercoaster ride of shame and justification”.

He told the Herald on Sunday, his addiction began when he was a young, lonely teenager trying to figure out his place in the world.

“I was exposed to magazines and videos at a young age and the objectification of the women on these media forms became an outlet for me to gain some form of intimacy that I severely lacked.”

It took him years to figure out that what he was regarded as “sexy and appealing” was a false reality.

“My understanding of how to form real relationships with the opposite sex became hijacked.”

In fact it wasn’t until Willis was in his early twenties that it dawned on him his attraction to pornography was an addiction.

“I felt convicted about its harmful effects on women, on men and on marriages,” he said.

“Despite my convictions, I kept falling back to my secret life every couple of weeks or months.

“I was counting the days and weeks of how long it had been, so it became clear to me that it was not something I could easily shrug off.”

Now two and a half years on from breaking the cycle, Willis said he felt “amazing”. Referencing the article “What it means to be pro-sex and anti-porn” he shared on Facebook, he took pains to make a distinction between porn and acts of love.

“Porn makes you think you are having sexual needs met. But really, they are hollow and leave you feeling empty and lonelier than before.

“Basically, pornography is a very unnatural (and very temporary) solution that people use to satisfy a natural desire.

“Pornography will not and cannot love you back.”

Getting this topic out of my secret life out into the open, and talking, talking, talking has been the biggest impact in breaking the cycle.”
Willis and his wife decided it was time to make a public stance on the growing problem of easily accessible pornography in our society.

“Sharing a small personal testimony of my journey with pornography was important to give my public stance authenticity and let others know it’s possible to go without.”

Director of the University of Otago’s National Addiction Centre, Professor Doug Sellman, said there was an impression in his field that porn addiction was on the rise due to easily accessed electronic porn.

Sellman said the key to an addict’s recovery was learning new ways of behaving.

“The old patterns will always be there, but the more a person practices the new behaviour it will trump the old addictive responses.

“However, new accountabilities to other people in the person’s life can be very motivating.”

Willis’ decision to go public with his personal experiences was one way of helping him put an end to his addiction, the top athlete said.

He said prior to speaking out he’d spent sleepless nights wrestling with images he couldn’t get out of his head.

“I sleep so well now. The freedom I experience now allows me to walk tall.”

He urged others in the same position to do the same.

“Don’t believe the lie that this is a natural and fine thing for men to participate in. It will affect everything in your life, especially your ability to experience true intimacy.

“Bring your secret life out into the open … say never again and walk away.”

He has now learned pornography is not healthy.

“My eyes have now become truly open to the lies of pornography, that it is a completely fake distortion of sex and women. It is not sexy nor appealing. I am no longer duped by a false reality.”





Watching Pornography will destroy you, says Ex porn star, Jennifer Lynn Case

7 12 2015

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Jenni, thank you so much for allowing me to interview you.

You’re very welcome, anything I can do to help, it’s my pleasure.

How long have you been out of the porn industry now?

I officially left the entire sex industry about 3 years ago after coming to Christ and finding Shelley Lubben and the Pink Cross Foundation but I stopped actively doing porn in my late 20’s when I got married and had my son. I didn’t spend too much time doing porn but I used my porn title to sell myself more in other areas and it worked. I used my porn experience to promote myself as a dancer and a prostitute, etc.

Yes, because when you are in the porn industry, the clubs will promote you as a “feature dancer” and you can get more money that way.

Exactly!! I was only 20 when I moved to Hollywood to get into mainstream porn.

How old were you when you first started in the porn industry, and how long were you in for?

I was very young only barely 18 years old when I started doing porn and I would say I did it off and on for about 10 years. I really didn’t know how to take care of myself and it seemed to be an easy way to survive. I would say that I was in the sex industry for about 15 years. They love to prey on young girls who need money. They are very easy to take advantage of.

Approximately how many movies did you make?

I probably made about 20 movies not very many at all.

Would you mind describing how you got into porn? I know that no porn performer wakes up one day and randomly decides to get into porn. There is always something leading up to it. Can you just lay out for us the events leading up to your decision to enter the porn industry?

I started out by doing other things first like dancing in a nude bar, doing bachelor parties, and escorting. I needed the money and hadn’t finished school and was living on my own at that point. I started living that sex industry lifestyle so eventually someone suggested that I do porn and it sounded like it paid really well and it was legal so I decided to contact a local agent who got me started. The agent got me a scene in a cheap hotel in Denver and that’s how it all started. I had no idea what I was getting myself into at the time.

What do you remember the most about that first experience. Was it very traumatic for you?

That first experience was odd. I was bothered by the fact that my agent used forged documents that showed I had been tested for HIV and other STDs. I had never been tested. I also remember the porn star I was supposed to work with that day was there but she couldn’t do anything because of her health. Her insides were so damaged from porn. I thought it was going to be me and a woman – less threatening right? But these 2 guys joined in and I didn’t think they were going to do that I was supposed to act like it was NOT my first film ever but I think they could tell I was new. There were lots of red flags in the beginning there.

What about your childhood? I know a lot of girls in the industry have backgrounds of sexual abuse, rape, neglect, or some sort of trauma. Do you think any of the events in your childhood made you more susceptible to the idea of getting into porn?

I definitely think my childhood played a big part in me getting into porn, etc. My dad was never around much and my parents divorced when I was about 8. At 14 I ran away from home and eventually became a ward of the state and remained in and out of foster homes, group homes, institutions, and other places until I was 17. I ran away alot and spent time on the streets where it was easy for me to get into trouble and my life was never stable after that. I was also exposed to porn at a very young age and saw porn magazines many times as a child. I think alot of things things from my childhood set me up for a nice, long career in the sex industry.

You mention your dad not being around. I know that’s the case for most porn actresses. I know it was for me. What would you say your emotional state was like during your porn career?

It’s actually hard to remember alot of what happened since I have blocked most of it out. I think emotionally I was basically “not there” and I numbed myself with pot and alcohol and other things so I didn’t have to deal with my raw feelings. I found myself depressed and lonely quite a bit and my behavior was erratic and very self destructive. I look back now and see there was alot of anger and bitterness there as well. I was a real mess.

For a lot of us, drugs was a huge part of how we coped with being in that lifestyle. How did you cope mentally and emotionally with being in the porn industry?

I think it was all about numbing myself and finding any way to escape or “check out”. My drug of choice was mostly pot for many years but I got to be a pretty big drinker when I turned 21 while working in a topless bar. I also realized later on that sex was a drug for me as well and slept around alot even when I wasn’t working. The marijuana mixed with liquor and sex were a bad combination and left me feeling more empty, lonely and depressed afterwords. As a woman in that lifestyle, you find you never have to pay for drugs or alcohol etc. because someone was always there to provide those things for me. One thing I remember was trying to separate the real me from the porn star me. I became two people and turned it on and off when needed. My other personality “Veronica” was just a fake front to cover up and to protect the real me so I could get my job done. Veronica was very social and outgoing and bold, The real me, Jenni, not so much haha.

Jenni, a lot of people who watch porn believe that the women love what they are doing, and are simply acting out their fantasies. Is this REALLY the truth?

This is NOT the truth about porn, it is a lie. The women living that lie do not love it and if they say they love it, it’s a way they lie to themselves to make it seem better. When I did porn, I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible and it was all about the money for me. I thought I did what I had to do to survive at the moment. My fantasies usually consisted of living a normal life, I fantasized about what life would be like if I wasn’t stuck in that nightmare. When you watch porn, you are watching a lie that is made to destroy you.

Amen to that!!! When you were in porn, what was your opinion of the guys who watched porn – or even men in general?

I grew to hate men in general and had no respect for men who watched porn. I thought men were perverts and just wanted one thing from women period and they treated women horribly. I think of men differently now. I see them as victims of the porn industry as well. I know that men want what women want too, not sex but love. We all want love. We all have a void to fill but some people try to do that with porn. Some men pay a price for porn addiction by losing their families and jobs. It is so sad and tragic to me that porn destroys the people who make it and also the people to view it. That is clear to me now.

Ya, but when you are in the porn industry, you don’t really see it that way, do you? You basically don’t care about yourself or anyone else.

Totally. You don’t have any respect for yourself or the person you’re with. It’s all about money, and getting what you can from the other person. It’s all about survival. You go into the industry not caring about yourself, and the longer you stay in, the less you care about yourself.

I know I actually hated myself by the time I left. What was the breaking point for you? When did you decide that you finally had to break free from all of that?

It was not just one thing really that made me quit. Many things happened at once and I became severely broken. I was in and out of the sex industry for many years. I tried to get out many times before but I would always need the money and I didn’t know what else to do so I would go back to it. I finally hit bottom a few years ago. I lost everything and things were not going well anymore. I had enough of selling my body and soul and couldn’t take any of it anymore. I just gave up and didn’t know how I would survive, but I had no soul left to sell period. I was dead inside there was only one way to go and that was up. This was the lowest point in my life. I had a son at this point and wasn’t going to let it ruin his life as well. If I would have not been a mother, I may be dead. I think part of my motivation was wanting to be a good mother to him.

So, by this time, you pretty much determined to leave because you couldn’t take it anymore, but were there any fears?

It was very hard at first but it felt really good to just finally let go and be free from all of it. My only fear was being able to survive without the money. The money kept me hooked. I was worried how I could take care of myself and my child. But I decided I would rather be homeless than ever sell my self again. Once you let go of the money, it’s much easier to get out.

We both know that a lot of girls in the industry suffer from mental illness. I know that I myself suffered from serious depression, even after leaving the industry. How would you say your mental condition was upon leaving the porn industry?

I know now that after years of living that life, I was traumatized by it. It was like enduring many years of oppression and abuse of all kinds. When I left and got rid of the drugs, etc., my emotions were raw for the first time in years. Over the years, I suffered depression and anxiety among many other problems and had to have counseling and take medication. Anyone who enters into that and already has mental illness, it will only make it worse.

What about physical problems?

Over the years, I mostly had to deal with STDs. I had so many different infections all of the time. I left Hollywood because I became so ill from Chlamydia. My abdomen hurt so much I had to come back home. My insides had been so abused, that at one point, a doctor at Planned Parenthood brought a group of interns in to look at my damaged cervix! I knew that “business” was taking a toll on my body and it also ages you quickly.

How did you personally recover from your time in porn? Was it extremely difficult?

I feel like the only way I could recover from that is with God in my life. God gives me hope that I didn’t have before. The past few years have been hard but so worth it. Things that helped me have been constant support from others, prayer, God’s word, and lots of love. The most difficult things have been trying to break old habits and trying to have a “real job”. It’s all about learning to live a new way, a better way. I think my recovery is an ongoing thing and it takes alot of time. I was in for many years and there was alot of damage done. I know alot more about porn now than I ever did when I was doing it.

Do you feel that Christ had a significant part in your recovery?

I know Jesus was the only way I could get out and stay out for good! For once, I had hope. Jesus saved my life. His love is amazing and I had never experienced love like that before. It was so intense that it hurt sometimes. My mind is being renewed daily by Him. All of the lies that ruled my life are being replaced with the truth, God’s word. I had realized that God was my father and would take care of me. He started to fix things in me that were broken. I become stronger in my faith every day. I don’t think He is done yet. he is still working on me. I think I am a better mother now because of all of this too. I would not have done any of this if were not for my little boy. I want him to know the truth about porn and treat women with respect.

What about recovery? Do you feel like the hardest part is over, or do you still have a lot of healing to do?

I do think the hardest part is over but I still have healing to do and it will probably take the rest of my life. I have learned how to live a new way and I have been learning how God works. One of the most healing things for me is to help others affected by porn. Reaching out to others helps me heal. God’s love fills that void now. I told myself when I was trapped in porn, that if I ever got out (which I thought I never would) that I would try to help women out of that world. There was no help for women like me. I am passionate about it.

So, what do you see for yourself in the future? I know that you volunteer with the Pink Cross Foundation and reach out to other girls. Do you see yourself continuing down that path?

I definitely think that’s where God wants me, going back into that nightmare to help save people from it. When I see some of those girls, I see me at 18. There was no such thing as The Pink Cross when I did porn. I know that porn is a major problem and it seems not much is being done about it. I love The Pink Cross Foundation and will continue to work with them. There is a certain way to handle the porn issue and educating and informing everyone makes a difference. I also plan on moving from Colorado to California to help with the cause.

That is awesome, Jenni. If you could say one thing to the men who are reading this right now, what would that be?

Men, GOD LOVES YOU! I love you too and I will always pray for all of you, for the chains to be broken. You are a slave to porn much as much any porn star. If you are viewing porn or addicted to porn, you are trying to fill a void inside of you that only God can fill. Whenever you look at porn, you are making the void bigger, and you will destroy your life. It evil it is a drug and it is poison and a lie. If you think you can keep it in the dark, God will bring it out into the light to stop you and heal you. These women are precious and deserve to be loved just as much as you do. There is a real person on the other side of the images you are seeing, and you are destroying her life and the lives of her children. Every porno has somebody’s daughter in it. What if it were your little girl? You may actually be assisting in someone’s death! Male and female porn actors die all of the time from AIDS, drug overdoses, suicides, etc. Please stop looking at porn.

[Editor’s note:] If you need help to beat pornography addiction, please read: The Porn Circuit. It will help you understand how to overcome.

*First published on the website http://www.theporneffect.com

Jenni blogs at http://momentofclarityblog.blogspot.com/





PORN: Drinking From A Poisoned Stream

25 11 2015

The pornified brain sounds a lot like Mick Jagger; it can’t get no satisfaction.

drinking piss - Copy

On the surface it sounds absurd. Pornography offers endless opportunities for arousal. If a human masturbates to a wider range of images or videos, shouldn’t that satiate? The simple answer is no.

 

Dr. Norm Doidge explains that porn is more exciting than satisfying because we have two separate pleasure systems in our brains: one for exciting pleasure and another for satisfying pleasure.

The exciting system, fueled by dopamine and anticipation, is all about appetite, such as imagining your favorite meal or a sexual episode.

The satisfying system involves actually having the meal or having sex, which provides a calming, fulfilling pleasure. This system releases opiate-like endorphins that provide feelings of peace and euphoria.

Pornography, Doidge writes, hyperactivates the appetite system. But the satisfying system is left starving for the real thing, which includes actual touching, kissing, caressing, and a connection not only with the body but also the mind and soul. The satisfying system releases oxytocin and endorphins, and bellows, in the words of Marvin Gaye, “Ain’t nothing like the real thing, Baby.”

The porn-saturated brain is fixated on sex, Dr. William Struthers explains, but real sex is intended for intimacy. The pornified brain is ready for multiple partners, images, and sexual possibilities, but it is intended for a narrow focus of exclusive sharing. Porn’s neurological superhighway is built for speed, but satisfying sex is designed for the slow and evolving discovery and appreciation of a loving partner. Porn provides few off-ramps (masturbation) that offer fleeting escapes that hasten the need for more. Meanwhile a committed couple can have long and satisfying encounters with many off ramps for creative expressions of intimacy that are not genitally oriented.

Doidge writes:

Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is an addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn’t like it.

How porn hurts marital sex

Pornographers want people to believe that viewing porn is harmless entertainment and that it can even spice up one’s love life, but the opposite is true. Rather than encouraging intimacy, research shows that porn steals it away.

Porn encourages selfishness rather than an exchange of intimacy. Especially among men, who are more visually stimulated than women, porn teaches that women are objects for their lust. Women are just body parts, used for personal gratification.

Pornography trains men to be consumers, to treat sex as a commodity, to think about sex as something on-tap and made-to-order. As Dr. Mary Anne Layden writes, “It is toxic miseducation about sex and relationships.”6

  • In Dr. Gary Brooks’ book, The Centerfold Syndrome, he explains that because the women in porn are only glossy magazine pictures or pixels on the screen, they have no sexual or relational expectations of their own. This trains men to desire the cheap thrill of fantasy over a committed relationship that requires them to connect to another human being. Pornography essentially trains men to be digital voyeurs: looking at women rather than seeking genuine intimacy.
  • According to a study published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, after only a few prolonged exposures to pornographic videos, men and women alike reported less sexual satisfaction with their intimate partners, including their partners’ affection, physical appearance, and sexual performance.
  • Another study that appeared in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found similar results. When men and women were exposed to pictures of female centerfold models from Playboy and Penthouse, this significantly lowered their judgments about the attractiveness of “average” people.
  • Dr. Victor Cline’s research has shown that sexual arousal and excitement diminish with repeated exposure to sexual scenes, leading people to seek out greater variety and novelty in the pornography they view.
  • French neuroscientist Serge Stoleru reports on how overexposure to erotic stimuli actually exhausts the sexual responses of healthy young men.
  • Dr. Dolf Zillmann reports when young people are repeatedly exposed to pornography, it can have a long-lasting impact on their beliefs and behaviors. Frequently, men who habitually view pornography develop cynical attitudes about love and the need for affection between partners. They begin to view the institution of marriage as sexually confining. Often, men develop a “tolerance” for sexually explicit material, leading them to seek out more novel or bizarre material to achieve the same level of arousal.

Dr. Judith Reisman summarizes it well: Pornography causes impotence — an inability to function with your own sexual power. “If he has to imagine a picture, if he has to imagine a scene, in order to actually reach the heights of completion with this person, then he’s no longer with his own power, is he? He has been stripped. He has been hijacked. He has been emasculated. He has, in effect, been castrated visually.”

Porn and Erectile Dysfunction

If the concerns above were not enough, many men become so habituated to pornography that they experience erectile dysfunction when they are with their spouse. Rather than performing better, as pornography promises, many men find that they can only achieve consistent and sustained erections with porn.

Drs. Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson explained in Psychology Today that overstimulation with pornography creates changes in the brain that make a man less responsive to the physical pleasure of a real woman and hyper-responsive to Internet porn. Men become sensitized to Internet porn, but desensitized to sex in general, which requires more and more stimulation to achieve arousal. When preparing for real sex, the pornified brain fails to get its dopamine surge and the signal to the penis is too weak to achieve erection. But turn on an Internet device with unlimited pages of novelty, and boom, the plumbing works.

Fast-growing online communities of people who call themselves “Fapstronauts” complain that porn is the root of their problems with ED and premature ejaculation. “Fapping,” slang for masturbating to Internet porn, is causing these people so many troubles they banded together for support. One online community claims 50,000 members, and their goal is to encourage each other to avoid pornography and masturbation for 90 days in the hope of never going back.

Real satisfaction

Because of the brain’s plasticity, people once consumed by porn can rearrange their neural networks to enjoy only sexual intimacy with their spouse, and studies show these relationships to be the most satisfying.

For instance, male porn users often believe more partners will bring greater satisfaction. But a 2011 study of long-term committed relationships (with a median duration of 25 years) showed the opposite. The study showed that the longer a man was in a relationship, the more likely he enjoyed relational happiness and sexual satisfaction. Women, in turn, enjoyed sex less during the early years of their relationships and experienced greater satisfaction later.

Another study in 2010 showed that couples who delay sex until their wedding night enjoy more stable and happier marriages. They also rated the quality of sex and the satisfaction in their relationships 15% and 20% higher respectively than couples who had premarital sex.

The results of these studies are nothing new, Dr. Weiss says. Studies and surveys of married couples have shown positive sexual satisfaction results for decades.

Weiss says:

The research shows that people who have consistent sex inside of a marriage — spiritually connected sex — have the best sexual satisfaction over time. The person that has the most sexual partners has the least level of sexual satisfaction as adults.

Unlike a porn video or a magazine, sex with a real-life committed partner has many points of arousal and satisfaction, from words and tones of voice, to touch, to the temperature of skin, and many other interactions. Yes, dopamine likes novelty. For the porn user that means more porn, but in a committed relationship novelty never has to end.

“Fortunately, lovers can stimulate their dopamine, keeping the high alive, by injecting novelty into their relationship,” Dr. Doidge writes. “When a couple go on a romantic vacation or try new activities together, or wear new kinds of clothing, or surprise each other, they are using novelty to turn on the pleasure centers, so that everything they experience, including each other, excites and pleases them.”

For minds and marriages wounded by porn, great sex and true intimacy will not arrive overnight. Repairing brokenness in marriage requires real work and determination. Building trust takes time.

Photo credit: ephotography29

Download and read the rest of the book, The Porn Circuit: Understand Your Brain and Break Porn Habits in 90 Days.

Author, Sam Black

 





Watch Ex-Pornstars Expose Porn Industry: Shelley Lubben & Jenni Case

29 05 2015

This video is worth 50mins of your time. Two ex-porn stars expose the filthy, dirty and dark secrets of the porn industry.





VIDEO Fighting the New Drug (2’25”)

22 11 2013


We need to talk about pornography. Wait, don’t go. This is important. You see, pornography affects all of us.
It’s not a question of if you get exposed, but when. So what, right? Some people say it’s not a big deal.
They’re wrong. Viewing pornography changes your brain. That’s right, it actually CHANGES YOUR BRAIN.
When you see pornography your brain is over-exposed with chemicals, the same chemicals that are released with hard drugs. They make you come back for more. Overtime your brain starts to rewire itself.
And it doesn’t take long until you crave it. You have to see more. You’re addicted.

And that ADDICTION takes over your life. It takes you away from your friends, your family, everything you love.
Addiction doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t think about your future. It just wants to be satisfied.

Now we know what you’re thinking, “It won’t happen to me.” Maybe you’re right, but what if you’re wrong?
Why take a chance? Get the facts about pornography. Fight the New Drug.

 





Why More And More Women Are Watching Porn By JENNIFER LECLAIRE

5 11 2013

Why More And More Women Are Watching Porn By JENNIFER LECLAIRE

A new study reveals women are struggling with graphic sexual immorality in droves.
“It was an ordinary weekday morning when Caroline first noticed how much pornography was taking over her life. With 15 minutes to go before she was due to leave for a job interview, she opened up her laptop to print off an extra copy of her C.V. and there, onscreen, was a grab she’d saved from [a porn site].

“’I remember the feeling of being sucked in, really wanting that two-minute fix, that numbness I got when I used porn,’ says Caroline. ‘I was stressed out, and I risked being late for my interview, but I pressed play anyway and fast-forwarded it to the bit I wanted. It took two minutes. … Afterwards I just hated myself for giving in and getting off on images that treated women like pieces of meat. But I kept going back.’”

Those are the opening paragraphs of a story from The Guardian called “Why More and More Women Are Using Pornography.” Revelations of female porn addiction are an eye-opening issue. Most people assume the problem is exclusive to testosterone-driven men. But a new study reveals that women are struggling with graphic sexual immorality in droves.,,

But get this: Online porn viewership has quadrupled for women in just three years. A 2010 Pew report shows only 2 percent of women admitted to watching online porn. And again, it’s likely that the true numbers are even greater.

And that’s not the worst of it. CovenantEyes has gathered shocking statistics from various studies. Here are a few of them:

According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Research, about half (49 percent) of young adult women agree that viewing pornography is an acceptable way of expressing one’s sexuality.
Exposures to porn during childhood are not just brief glimpses. Some teen girls are viewing online pornography for a half-hour or more at a time, and 1 in 7 have done this on multiple occasions.
Of the women in the Dirty Girls community, 87 percent say they feel or have felt “out of control” when it comes to the matter of masturbation; 70 percent say the same about sexual fantasies, according to Dirty Girls Ministries.
Of the women in the Dirty Girls community, 45 percent said they started “habitually and compulsively” watching pornography or engaging in cybersex when they were 13-17 years old.
Of the women in the Dirty Girls community, 27 percent say they feel or have felt “out of control” when it comes to sexually chatting online; 11 percent say the same thing about sexting…

But there is hope. Although much attention is focused on helping men break free from pornography addictions, ministries are rising up to help women find deliverance from this bondage. Beggar’s Daughter, Bethesda Workshops and Dirty Girls Ministries, among others, are offering God’s grace to women trapped in sexual sin. If you or a woman you know is addicted to pornography, I urge you to seek help. Jesus is your deliverer, and He won’t leave you trapped in Jezebel’s clutches.
Jennifer LeClaire is news editor at Charisma.








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